Loaded

Dinner as usual with S.
It has come to be a routine lately...

I like to talk. I mean i'm a talker in a conversation. But tonight i'm speechless most of the time. Loads of information to process. Loads of things that shocked me. Partly because i didn't see it coming from him. It's not bad or anything but nonetheless, shocking.

It's a HUGE impact. I was surprised when he said that he wants me to know beforehand so that if anything happens than i wouldn't be jilted.I spaced out a couple of times that he repeatedly ask me whether i am ok or not. Funny. It should be ME saying those lines. 

I never expected that person is THAT person. I never expected the HUGE impact of that problem. God!His world is so different from mine. chup. stop! see, my mind is wandering off into the future again. The future that might or might not exist.

Yeah. ok. Go with the flow. But why does he wants me to know...why me?


A question for myself to ponder:
Am i ready to be in in his 'world'? Or am i to chicken to be a friend.