I bought a veil today.
I wanted to don a simple attire for my nikah.
I wanted to not wear a veil, to not wear a tiara.
Just a simple head scarf sewn with lace and flowers or pearl brooches to set it off nicely.
BUT, here's a but.
Mr. S wants to see me in a veil wearing a tiara on our solemnization day.
HE wants it. Do i want it?
Not really, no. read this : I wanted to not wear a veil, to not wear a tiara.
BUT, here's another but.
I bought the veil today.
I wanted other than veil and tiara so that i don't look like the conventional typical malay bride on her nikah day and to be honest(because lets face it, no one who knows me reads my blog :) , i think it's a lil teeny weeny ott to wear the veil and tiara on a nikah. But that's for me lah. Other brides may wear it and they look nice in it, some who's not so lucky didn't.
Anyway, i changed my mind, tried on multiples of veils, and chose one that i think is not so OTT and bling-blingish. Of course Mr. S was there encouraging me to buy 1. He's more than happy i think to see me finally condoning his wishes. Oh and this is after a series of heated discussion i tell you..
What made me change my mind then...
I could have stand my ground and hold my stands to not wear a veil and tiara. I will get away with it i'm sure. Mr. S is very...how do i say it...tolerant, yes...Mr. S is very, very tolerant with me. He'll just let me have my way in the end. That i'm sure.
BUT. Here's the famous but again.
But, i realized that what i want initially was to "wow" other people. I think there's some part of my (foolish)heart that wants to feel 'proud' when i don't conform to society's expectations. You know like a rebel of somekind.
So i give it a thought and somehow i realized that the person that i really REALLY want to "wow" is Mr. S. So i told myself or myself told me..if that makes any sense...that i can forgo what i want /what i don't want because the ultimatum on my nikah day is to see love and happiness in Mr. S eyes whenever he looks at me.
As corny as it sounds, i really want to please the man i love. (malu to say that out loud but then, no one knew so what the heck)
So yeah baby! Ms. S will be wearing a tiara and a veil!!! Rock on! (pujuk hati hehe but it's not so bad anyway...pujuk hati lagi :)
I LOVE YOU MR. S. I really do.
Just as long as it's not a 6 foot long veil and a 4 inch high tiara. hehe