New Beginnings- Prologue

Hi hello.I've been missing for quite sometimes didn't i?

Hurm. Nothing much happened. I've FINALLY submitted my thesis. I can now rest in peace! The kelegaan was nothing compared as when you've finally present your system. If you've been to school in Uniten, you'd know. Those whom presented this year lah would know, there's been changes in the way they grade your fyp. So this 'new' way is supposedly more 'leceh' and your project has to pass certain 'requirements'..yada yada..so yeah no more easy peasy passing like they used to. Tapi aku dah lepas and now lega yang teramat!!!!

Lesson learnt: Jangan nak over confident sangat. Saying you could learn a new language WHEN C is hard confusing enough for you!haha. Yup C tau bukan C++.hehehe. But anyways, now is all and well. Sudah selesai semua segala gundah dan kegusaran di hati.

Kena pergi bersiap sebab pukul 3 nak masuk kerja!weeee~

Tragedy

It happened yesterday in the wee hours where people would normally be sleeping. 

Today, it shocked the nation. Claiming lives of four(up to this hour), injuring i-can't-remember-how-many people and trapping hundreds of people.

Watching the news update, it feels like watching a movie. I still can't believe that it happened...

My prayer, thoughts and love goes out to the landslide victims of Bukit Antarabangsa.

photosynTHESIS

This is going to be a whiny post.

Does maxis has a thing with celcom or U mobile???????? Dah sepuluh minit and the browser masih blank!!!!! Earlier, i opened up DiGi's site, laju plak. Tapi laju-laju pun, aku boleh pergi mandi buih dulu lah. Kalau tunggu celcom dengan U mobile ni, gosok gigi, kumur dengan listerine, mandi buih, syampoo rambut sambil styling mohawk, mandi air biasa nak buang buih pun belum tentu browser dah load!

Aku kecoh sebab fakta-fakta yang aku perlukan ada dalam website diorang untuk siapkan thesis last minute, yang aku gebang dekat sv aku (nama dirahsiakan) ianya telah siap dan sedang di binding dan di hard coverkan tapi ianya masih belum dapat disiapkan oleh kedai cing cong di shah alam. Tipu sikit. Tapi tadi aku dah mintak ampun masa sembahyang. So harapnya, tak lah tak berkat thesis aku tu. 

Boring ah buat thesis sorang-sorang. Dulu masa bertungkus-lumus siapkan report 1 untuk fyp (masa ni berat aku turun smpai 49-50 kilo!!!haha.saja kecoh nak bagitau) at least adalah gak awek.hehe.rempit style.ok.sambung cerita. at least dulu adalah gak dua gadis penemam, pemecah sunyi aku menaip. Sorang garang macam mak-mak, sorang mak kang. hahaha. tapi hati baik punya.

Teringat plak masa tengok movie Los dan Faun(superb weh!), tengok trailer Sayang, you can dance! Ada amani aku suka and ada Dafi.hehe. Kekasih aku tak suka dia. Aku tak lah suka dia, minat ke apa. Tapi dia comel. Tapi aku tak minat dia. ok?

Berbalik pada gadis dua orang tadi.Diorang lah kawan baik aku. Tapi diorang tengah sedap tidur sekarang sebab rezeki diorang grad awal dari aku. Diorang dah kerja lah! 

Dan kenapa setelah lama menunggu, browser ni boleh pulak keluar "error page cannot be displayed" dan juga aku masih disini? Dah aku nak pergi mandi buih. For real ni. bye.

Disember

*akan diupdate bersama gambar bila connection laju*

Disember tiba lagi tahun ini!oh yeah!! Tahu tak mengapa kita perlu bersuka-ria dan bersyukur?
Ya! Syukur itu penting, baru lah berkat segalanya.

*senyum*

Senarai mengapa-kena-bergembira-dan-bersyukur:

1. Aku ke dunia pada 17 DISEMBER 1985.
Ya. 23. 23.23. Age is just a number to me. Jadi, aku tak berapa kisah sangat pasal angka/digit/integer tu. Tapi yang menjadi persoalan diri aku ialah kenapa aku tak rasa macam DUA PULUH TIGA tahun. Dulu masa aku kecik-kecik, aku perhati kakak(satu-satunya) aku ( nota : influenza utama!) dan rakan-rakan rapat dia. Aku dah terfikir "Macam ni lah shasha(masa tu tak pandai beraku-engkau lagi) nanti bila dah 'besar'. Now that aku dah 'besar', tak rasa sangat 'kebesaran' tu. Korang boleh relate tak dengan apa yang aku rasa ni? Ke aku sorang je yang rasa..

2. Aku bakal ke dunia "kais pagi-pagi, makan hujung bulan"

Ya. Kehidupan fasa baru akan bermula pada 15 Disember ni. Aku masih belum bersedia. Masih dalam mode 'party'.HAHAHA.sila gelak.please, tolong gelak. Siapa yang mengenali aku mesti macam "huh?".."apakah?"... Ya. aku tak reti berparti, terkinja sini sana. Parti mengikut definisi aku lain sikit.Keluar bersama sahabat yang baru sahaja 'survived' dan telah lama 'survived' dan tidak membuat apa-apa. Duduk dan borak dan mengeji mesra.Kalau nak tahu, kami sekumpulan dijankiti spoonerism!

oh. Parti dalam erti yang lain pula, ialah menghabiskan masa bersama yang tersayang. Walaupun hanya sekadar lepak dirumah dengan hanya memakai baju T labuh dan besar bersama seluar tidur yang tak matching dan selendang yang senget benget,dating di ruang tamu, bersama daddyku yang seksi baring topless berkain pelikat di depan tv. There's none other romantic ambiance than this kan?kan?kan? 

Lagi, berguling, bertumbuk, bertendang, bergusti bersama tiga orang kanak-kanak lelaki yang majoritinya lagi berat dari aku. Merias seorang puteri yang sangat vain dan pelat berumur 1 tahun 11 bulan 29 hari. Juga lepak bersama bonda dan ayahanda bersama kakak dan abg rock star ku.Sangat gembira dan timeless saat-saat itu..

3. Duta, duta dan duta.
27 Disember. Sheila on 7. MALAYSIA. *Senyum sampai ke telinga orang sebelah*


Ada banyak lagi littlest things but itu semua biar disimpan di dalam hati. Seronok jugak ada secrets  ;)

Gembira ke langit tujuh

Alhamdulillah!Syukur. Now, i can breathe.

*inhale~* *exhale~*

pheewh.

I'm closer to be wearing that topi keras berbentuk empat segi tu.

*senyum*

Bertanya Plug-in baru

Pemula GIMP? Anda apa khabar? Ada Bertanya Plug-in baru?

Terima kasih Cinta!

Selamat pagi Malaysia!!!=)

My playlist is almost,almost complete.

Terima kasih Cinta-Afgan, check. *Tengah on di playlist!*
Aku dan dirimu-Ari Lasso & BCL, check.
Senandung maaf-White shoes and The couples Company, UNcheck.=(

~All of sudden teringat dekat WS&TCC and teringin gila nak dengar senandung maaf but i lost the cd!!Down betul. 

Handsome dan cantik sungguh! ;p


Corny i know. I'm corny and cheesy.wah!lapar!!!!=s

Spoil mood sudah. Elok aje lepas lagu Afgan keluar lagu N.E.R.D. Haih.

why?kenapa?ngapain?huh?

Aku musykil yang amat sekarang ni! Facebook buat masalah pada aku.Aku benci. Nak 'dinding-ke-dinding' tak boleh. Nak 'kutuk mesra' rakan-rakan yang comel(bodek! tapi diorang tak baca blog aku.pis ;p) pun tak boleh. Apa tah lagi nak bagi 'nama timangan' yang unik-unik. Marahnya.

Satu lagi kemusykilan.

Aku tak reti macam mana nak bagi korang comment.haha.Like you do lah kan. Tapi ada lah sorang, dua..eija dan dalila selalunya rajin comment.heheh.Tapi tak tau nak pakai coding apa nak timbulkan 'comments'. Nantilah, malas nak google. Kalau rajin, kejap lagi taruk cBox. Best jugak berchat sorang-sorang.

shasha: Hai.
sasa: Hoi.
shasha: Bosanlah blog ni.
sasa:Gotohell.bye..

contohlah.okbye.

Allah Ya Allah!

Jantung berdebar-debar, im cold and clammy..










Mungkinkah disebabkan...demam? barangkali...

Moshi Moshi

Hi Mashi.owh.lupa.dia di Negara matahari terbit sekarang.Jaga diri okay.

Tetapi bukan itu yang belegar-legar di minda sekarang.Esok mahu ke moshi moshi.yeah.membeli-belah tingkap.
I know you know what i mean so i won't ask "You know what i mean?" because i know that you know when i say i know you know what i mean.hehe.

Just woke up from a brief sleep by him nun jauh di Johor Baharu or is it Bahru? Lupa dan malas mahu Google. Kalau boleh mahu ke Johor!!!!=(

Hari-Hari yang indah

*Kronologi hari Jumaat hingga pagi Ahad. Dari Jalan TAR ke HUKM ke Hartamas Shopping Centre ke Bukit Kiara Park. Awan cantik is irresistable!!!Even while I was driving. ish.ish. 

*Jatuh cinta pada Keanu Reeves sejak berumur 12 tahun!! Teringat masa zaman-zaman dia berlakon Matrix! Perghhh! Smart gila!!! Walaupun kurang faham jalan cerita tapi layankan aje.hehe.

*I LOVE my kasut to the point that, pergi kemana-mana pun akan dipakai!!!

*Sekeluarga went to a simple birthday dinner since my nephew dah dibawa celebrate on his birthday. Ni kira mcm extended family punya. Tapi extended pun 3 org aje la.haha.dad,mom & me.hehe

Gambar-gambar di atas indah tapi hari ini tidak kerana saya demam =( 

Petanda mengandung ke?

I'm dizzy and nauseous....Jeng Jeng..hehehehehe.Probably because i lay down on my stomach for too long. Kalau kita baring on our backs it's called terlentang, what do we call 'baring on our perut'? I forgot so i asked Kekasih.He told me i was funny. Funny ke? Forgetful ada lah.

Wishlist:
1.studs
-to stick(?) or punch(?) them into my mom's old velvet dinner bag. The velvet has gone spotty and some spots has lost it's fur(?) or feather(?), bululah senang cakap.

2.lace
-off white and black to be exact. Nak paste all over my white skinny belt!Yang off white tu nak jadikan dia sleeves for a dress.

3.start DIY projects when 1&2 are acquired.
-read above.

4.Clasp purse shoulder bag( i really don't know what it's called actually huhuh ).
-Saw one in the Curve. ONLY ONE. My sister decided to buy it for my mom. And my mom decides to wear them for "special" occasions ONLY. She said we could share it BUT the rule of borrowing and lending is that, if the owner hasn't 'merasmikannya', you can't borrow it. Macam tak sedaplah.Imagine if that's your stuff, belum guna tapi people dah start nak pinjam.Tak bestkan.

5.Grey shoulder bag(ada studs wehhhhh).
-Tinggal ONLY ONE. and i being 'baik' tiba-tiba, turns down my sister's offer to buy it(belanja somemore) for me. Ok.Actually i asked "Kakak, belanja shasha ni boleh?" in a small voice that i used when i want something/don't wanna do something/wants to go out 'dating' with Kekasih/ Forgotten something;basically when i want something and when i don't want something. And so my sister tergoda with my voice and big eyes(sengaja besarkan) lalu she replied " Takelah!Kakak belanja." For about 1/2 hour i was contemplating on whether nak amik or not. Now menyesal sbb siang malam asyik teringat.
-My sister called to congratulate me on something today and she said "Yay!!!!Lepas ni belanja kakak handbag pulak!!".....HU HU HU.

6.More boots.
-Grey and brown pulak.No patent. PU or cowhide(anyhide pun i don't mind asalkan bukan khinzir sudah) leather to be exact! Ankle/calf/knee length. I want it all. WANT not NEED. Fokus!Fokus!

Sorry no pictures. As i want you to use your imagina..ok. forget i said that. 3g connection was damn slow,sometimes tak received signal langsung.Damn youh maxis.

At current times, i can't really spend.So writing them down is as good as getting them.hehe. ok then. off to sleep. Strange but i feel better now, less nauseous, less kepala pusing...This is what i call funny. Bukan terlupa 'baring' tu apa.

milo mayo dan belacan

What do they have in common??

I once fried the whole belacan because i thought it was a burger patty. I never thought that patties should be in the freezer part of the fridge not the normal one. Never mind the wrapping of the belacan that never have burger ayam ramli emblazoned all over it. Eventually i got curious because the "burger" starts to give off some weird smell. I thought that the "burger" has gone bad!!! then my mom came down to the kitchen because she was curious of the STRONG belacan smell through out the house. And she laugh and laugh and laughand laugh. I was 10.

Another time, i made a milo with mayonaise thinking it was milk. I was down with a cold and my nose was blocked so naturally i couldn't smell & taste properly. Waking up rather late and with a shock; my mom was knocking the door of my room like she wants to crash it!!!! Straight to the kitchen and to the fridge. Like a robot,2 scoops of milo, 1 scoop of milk, hot water, warm water, stir. Weird. The milk won't get  mixed properly. Like white polkadots over chocolate background! I smelled it but obviously i can't smell a thing! I told my mom about it and she tasted it and she told me it's "FINE".My turn to taste; i couldn't taste a thing except that it was kinda "oily".

And..........

it's mom to the rescue(again). She told me(while laughing and snorting)that the actual milk was in the "kacang masin" tub while the "milk" i had used was in the "mayo" tub. I was so groggy i couldn't see the difference. hehehehe.

Have you done any weird 'cookings' or 'concontions'?

The call

"Hello Shazira, i'm Sharifah Zunaidah and i'm calling from ExxonMobil."


1Dec 2008. Alhamdulillah.

gembira

Call me shallow but my lacey skirt made me happy and my flats too! leopard print is cool on shoes not kain baju kurung.pendapat aku lah.

rroooarrr.eh? does leopard roars?

mistake(s)

Potentially the biggest mistake i've made.  I might die with regret over it. But i might live happily.One way or another. One risk or chances. One hope or one despair. All comes to down to decision(s).

i've set my foot down and stand my ground. Now i pray that the ground won't crumble beneath me instead of steadying me.

I can't be transparent as i don't have the heart to humiliate someone but i hate the fact that i have to be vague and can't pour my heart out when it's painfully bursting with feelings and expressions and speak my mind which is now, full to the brim.

Have you set down a path and wondered whether you should turn back and retreat? Not quite regret? Just wishing you did something differently.hurm...It kinda ring the same bells, ye tak?

I believe in the saying of "it's now or never". I must admit that there are times where i should do that, but there are also the times when courage sneaks up and suddenly im that. now or never. You wouldn't wanna live with "What ifs?" the whole of your life would you?

Meanings

Because i got so pening with my fyp i went about and google my name.

type shasha. click search.

within seconds(connection sekejap laju sekejap perlahan)!

1st page, nope.nada.none.zero.zilch.

oookaayyyy. we move on.

type shazira.click search.

within seconds almost a minute(damn!)(connection chose to berlengah kankung)!

tadaaaaaaa.

Shazira (sha-zee-rah):
My lifemate (wife) in this world.
A talented master of flow (shape shifting), and one of the two guardians of the Watchtower.

HUH?macam apakah?kan.okay.setahu aku,my name doesn't have any meaning in Islamic names. Sedih tak? That aside. Fokus. topik kita pasal maksud kat atas.

1. My lifemate(wife) in this world.
-heh? who's wife????? GILA. semuaorang ke? GILA GILA. imagine lah.
Kekasih: My lifemate (wife) in this world(Shazira) datang sini please.
Kinda sweet kan? tapi i wish it's wife in this world and after.hehehe.. ni x gelimat. ni sweet.

ni gelimat.let's say. A lecturer atau lebih spesikasi lagi MALE lecturer.

Lecturer:My lifemate (wife) in this world(Shazira), awak kena berusaha lebih tekun lagi.

euww.

2.A talented master of flow (shape shifting)
-Like, who am i kidding. Ni. sumpah kelakar.celah mana aku shape shifting. weight lifting pun tak larat. nak shape shifting.hahahahaha. talented? hurm. belum diasah. master? degree pun belum nyah. of? of. flow? flower.

3.One of the two guardians of the Watchtower
Aku seorang muslim.Ye.Aku bukan lah alim.tapi aku practising muslim.Bukan pengganut ayah pin. Jadi aku tak pernah bertugas menjaga Watchtower atau menara peninjau atau pemerhati.Dah macam secret cult ke apa ni. scary.


*Btw, referring to the post below. its DYING ya'll. thanks eija comel!hehe.

Not of importance but matters still

Has yet to find the silver lining in all that has happened & for things to unfold. But i make amends and slowly finds peace, slowly but it'll do for the mean time.

Over the weekends, kekasih and i went to openhouses and missed a few. Weddings pun ter-missed.=(. Kak farah and aimi, if you read this(which i know you don't because this blog is oblivious to you hehe), i'm so sorry i missed it but i'm sure it has been wonderful!!! Congratulations and semoga bahagia ke akhir hayat,Amin~ Owhh. and nik too, sgt sorry sbb missed your open house!

owh. My sister commented me, "You look fat.". Look it in a positive way. atleast i look fat. Not dieing. How to spell die with and ing at the back? i've forgotten that. I KNOW its NOT DIEING. But for the life of me, i can't remember it. Kalau da ingat nanti, i'll change it.

Ok.good night.

Assalamualaikum

Greetings of Salam and Well thoughts.

*Achooooo*

The blog's sadly berhabuk from ditinggalkan tak bertali(wired).geddit?if you don't some other time i'll explain.So much has happen. Good things.Bad things.Happy things.Sad things.

And i felt like a failure.i do.

More frustrating that i have to keep it vent inside my ol' self.
Alhamdulillah, kekasih hati menurutkan saja perangai dan permintaan aku yang kadang-kadang somewhat outrageous.

ok.mind's starting to wander and getting strange again. haruslah pergi mengemas. mengemas, anything that can take my mind off things.

Gemuruh

Aku nervous.
..sebab dalam beberapa jam aku akan pergi menjual.

sebab musabab 1: Aku join Yuna and friends kali ni.
Kenapa perlu nervous: Sbb aku minat gila dia.her songs lah not her HER.
How aku boleh team up dgn dia: Fated. WAhhhh.gila gedik.haha.Hamba Allah bernama atiqah email me and the rest is just history(apakah?)

sebab musabab 2: Aku will be donned in a vintage maxi dress.
Kenapa perlu nervous: maxi itu perfek.long sleeves! labuh smpai ke ankle! POLKADOT.Gila!!! TApi secara rahsia dengan berkata di dalam hati berharap supaya aku tidak kelihatan seperti memakai baju tidur.Semalam, masa iron tiba-tiba terdetik perasaan itu.Harap taklah.
How aku boleh ada vintage dress itu: Aku tak bid. Aku tak beli online. Aku beli di bazar dengan haraga lima belat hengget. Ho yeah. Aku gumbira. Tapi masih nervous.

sebab musabab 3 dan paling dasat: Aku will be wearing a 3.5 inch platform.
Kenapa perlu nervous: Tinggi weh. Tapi aku gatal. Sebab dia santek. Amat santek. Tapi tinggi gila. Aku ni sejenis manusia yang pakai flats pon boleh jatuh dan terpeleot dengan penuh dignity. Aku amat berharap tiada musibah yang akan menimpa diriku nanti. Amin.

JADI APA YANG PERLU KAMU LAKUKAN APABILA MEMBACA POST INI!
1.Hadirkan diri anda di Bijou Bazaar.Informasi di: http://bijoubazaar.blogspot.com.
2.Tolong tahan diri anda daripada gelak sekuat hati apabila ternampak seorang perempuan muda(baca:perasan) kesana-kemari dengan pakaian ala-ala bangun tidur terus ke bazaar.
3.Jangan gelakkan perempuan muda itu yang berjalan dengan kelajuan sepantas siput kerana takut akan musibah yang menimpa.

..Tahilah. Kasut tu santek.

NAM

Ya. Aku NAM. bukan NUMB tapi NAM as in Non-Aligned Movement.

Kenapa?

Kerana Aku yang bernama *tidak dapat disiarkan disini* sememangnya berpendirian bahawa

*ehem ehem*
Tuhan itu Maha Besar, Maha Kuasa dan Maha Adil selain dari semua keAgungannya so, apa yang kita lakukan, tak kira lah baik atau buruk pasti mendapat balasan yang setimpal dengan perbuatan kita.

mudah kan pendirian hidup aku?

dan lagi satu..

*ehem ehem*
Apa yang kita buat dekat org akan terkena balik pada diri kita berkali ganda dari apa yang kita buat org. Kita kutuk sorang budak ni. Tapi kita tak tau yang ada sepuluh org yang kutuk diri kita yang seorang ni. Faham tak contoh ni? Ada lagi banyak contoh tapi aku malas. Jadi, tolong buat-buat faham. ;p Pendirian ini disematkan oleh bondaku. Sebab tu dari aku kecik smpai skarang aku takut kalau mencarut. Sebab sekali kita mencarut, sepuluh kali tuhan laknat kita balik. Contoh: "Babi ah shasha(aku, bukan shasha lain) tuh!", Tuhan laknat kita sepuluh kali. Camtu ah. Sbb tu aku takut. Paling jahat penah keluar dari mulut dan tulisan aku ialah bodoh, bangang, bongok, gila, babeng(paling jahat sbb die babi tapi di eng kan hujungnya), siot(second jahat sbb dia sial tapi di iot kan),bloody, damn, shit dan tahi. Tak caya? Tak caya sudah.

Jadi, kesimpulannya, aku terima penjelasan dari semua orang dan aku juga dah memaafkan segalanya. Seperti yang aku katakan banyak kali dan berulang kali, tapi aku bukan baik mahupun warak alim, apa yang terjadi sudah aku lepaskan, sekarang ini hanya kamu(siapa-siapalah) dengan Tuhan.

Now, all is well( i hope lah), lets all be merry. Bulan Ramadhan ni!!!Ambik berkat sikit..

BLOOM dah update, lai lai!!!

I covet.

If you'd still remember this entry. Than you would know that i have become a shoe fetish fanatic. I wasn't one to start with. So, i wasn't really sure what buzzed me to be one. What i'm certain is that, i've missed the pre-order date!!!!DAMN!!! I want. I want. If i can't have the others, than the oxfords pun jadilah.sedih ;(

So,what is that i covet now?

jeng jeng jeng..

*Credits to Sally Jane Vintage* 

READ: Knee/Almost-knee high boots!!Now, i think it has to be my daily staple. Sebab, i lugged back lotsa vintage-granny-smelled-but-in-a-good-way dresses from Bijou Bazaar. As a woman, just a mere findings of cheap thrills for frills will just send my hormones to the nines. Translate: Uberly overly happy. Tapi, kena ada boots because thats how i imagine it would look nice with.

Gua suka. lu suka?lu tak suka, gua tak ambik port.

hehe. I just read some of uniten friends' blogs while i was bloghopping, and some of them wrote like that. Thought i'd give it a try. But no, it doesn't suit me at all.kan?

Kau kenal aku?

Kau kata kau mengenali aku, cukup lama mengenali aku.Bullshit weh..kalau kau cukup mengenali, takkan tergamak kau keluarkan perkataan tuh.Sama? Aku dengan dia tak pernah sama. Tengok dan belek betul-betul. Aku begitu kerana kau. Pada bila aku bersama-sama orang lain, tak pernah pula, aku bersikap sedemikian.

Aku tak marah pun, the spark has long gone from me. Tak marah, cuma sedih. Tapi fikir2 balik tak layak air mata ini tumpah untuk kau.

Katil kata mari....

Mengantuk teramat dah ni. Sengal dan letih segala. Seharian meniaga, memecut ke bangi dan pulang ke Kuala Lumpur. Memunggah barang seorang, mengangkat barang seorang, semuanya serba serbi seorang. Tapi aku Wonder Woman! Hell Yeah ;)

Perbualan tadi mengakibatkan aku sesat kat sini. Isu yang berulang kali timbul dan hilang. Perkara kecil seperti itu mahu merubah segala macam. Buatlah apa kau nak, nak datang ke or not. Nak pulang ke apa, you deal on your own. The plan and what nots, aku can cancel just a call away, call Maxis customer service sudah. Esok pagi2, aku bangun, aku call, kalau aku ingat lah. Aku ni kalau bangun pagi selalu kena renjatan memori, habis lupa semua text msg yang aku baca ketika mamai ding-dong. Seperti apa yang berlaku pada Cik Hati Kechil Putheh. Maaf dik.hohoho. 

Iklan sebentar:
Aku suka lagu Wonder Woman. Bukan lagu omputih, tapi dari seberang.Nama singer dia Mulan Jameela.Aku tak suka Mulan Jameela, tapi aku suka lagu tu.

Hati, kau masih seperti dulu?

Hati,

Apa khabar kau disana?
Aku harap kau masih lagi Hati yang dulu.
Hati yang bisa merasionalkan pemikiran, aneh tapi benar.
Hati yang membiarkan bahagia manusia lain daripada menjadi kesedihan sendiri.
Hati yang memaafkan walau bagaimana hancur dan ranap diperlakukan manusia.

Entah kenapa, malam ini begitu terkesan sekali hati dan permikiranku apabila 
terbaca hasil nukilan dua insan yang selama ini tidak pernah tertahu kewujudan mereka 
dia atas bumi ini. Sumpah indah! Sayu dan sebak saat terbaca tentang keluhan hidup, luahan cinta dan rasa mereka.  Selesai membaca, aku terfikir... apakah aku masih aku yang dahulu? Apa yang aku kejar dalam hidup ini ? 

Pada saat dan ketika ini, aku berani mengatakan yang aku sudah membiarkan api kemarahan ini padam dan lenyap daripada terus membakar kotak hatiku. Memang kau kejam wahai Perempuan, mengadu domba, menfitnah membuta tuli, mengata keji dimana waktu aku bersangka kita sudah meninggalkan masa silam, memulai "persahabatan" yang baru.

Tetapi wahai Perempuan, ketahuilah saat ini, apa yang aku rasai terhadap kau cuma perasaan simpati. Kerana, kau masih berpegang kepada hasad dengki dan hasutan kau itu. Apa yang pasti, kau dan aku bersaudara. Ya! Kita bersaudara, bersujud pada Tuhan yang sama, bercinta dengan Tuhan yang sama. Aku yakin kau tahu dan sedar yang Tuhan kita Maha Besar dan Maha Adil. Jadi apa yang dapat aku katakan cuma, aku kini telah memaafkan segala apa yang kau berikan kepadaku. Bukan aku mahu berlagak alim dan baik, tetapi hidup ini singkat. Aku tidak mahu membazirkan sedikit masa yang dianugerahkan padaku untuk kau yang jelas tidak mendatangkan apa-apa kebaikan kepada diriku. 

Jadi Perempuan, di antara aku dan engkau, engkau sudah tiada apa-apa yang terhutang padaku.
Sudah ku bereskan segala kemaafan yang tertuntut oleh kau. Jadi sekarang, hanyalah diantara kau dengan Tuhan. Semoga Tuhan merahmati kau.

Dan juga, Semoga Tuhan memelihara Hati aku daripada api kemarahan yang mendatang.
Amin.

Untuk Perempuan itu

Aku tidak sempurna,
Kamu juga sama,
Jadi, berhentilah dari berkata dusta,
Kelak diri yang terbakar.

Jaded

Aerosmith sang Jaded.
I'm singing along similar tune.
When will she stop talking?
When will she stop hating?

I wish the truth would be out.
It's in the hands of God.
So please Dear god,
Enlightened those confunded minds.

One day, all will be revealed,
I'm not waiting,
I'm anticipating.
For it will all be uncovered.

The sweet taste of realization,
is too sinful beyond dreams.
I don't wish for it to come soon,
as i know sooner or later,
It will harbour down the river of light.

The truth,
as clear as still water,
as bright as the moon beam,
as transparent as gossamer.

Until then,

Spun away you little spiderina,
The web of lies so carefully weaved.
But be careful not to be caught in your own sticky web.

Would you still love me?

i'm officialy cool in the universe world of shasha population 1, for i have chopped off my beautiful*self opiniated* lock of precious hair. Truth be told, i wasn't thrilled with the outcome when first i lay my eyes on me. Heck! i looked like i was about to be enrolled into the Police Academy. But now, i've come to love my new look. It has began to look like the previous haircut(a year ago).so yay! if you know me, next time you see me, call me "shasha deyn". I would just ignore and continue walking if it just "shasha".

A question for you.No.Not you.But Him.The one who sang me songs:
"Would you still love me? Now that i look like a 12-y/o-kid-who-haven't-had-his-wet-dream?"

Answer me. Not less than 800 words.Thank you love.

Mawar Khayalan

Sila google Laila's Lounge.

I'm addicted to them.I'm addicted to the raspy vocals of the lead singer.I'm not a music genius but i love love their arrangements a and the lil ti-tut-ti-tut(macam R2D2) sound-thingie..hahaha..i really can't describe the sound.But i do LOVE the song. Am googling for more of their songs tapi tak jumpa.Anyone care to help?;)..watch the video. ubercool.kudos!

Cuti Umum

Yeah. Tepat sekali. Esok pukul 12 tgh hari, aku akan dapat menikmati makan tengah hari. Breakfast tak sempat.

*credits to DatukJ*

Tapi aku tak sekejam untuk makan/minum di hadapan orang yg berpuasa. Aku tak sekejam untuk menuar-uarkan yang ayam goreng spicy McD aku itu sungguh empuk dan ranggup. Aku x sekejam untuk minum light coke lalu berkata:"Coca-cola..yeah~"(Mcm lagu iklan coke 90-an). Orang yg tak berpuasa(kerana uzur sahaja ok!!) di bulan Ramadhan kena lah jaga adab dan tertib. Walaupun tak puasa, kita bukan boleh pergi masuk kedai, makan kat situ.

1 taktik yang aku selalu gunakan apabila anak2 buah aku berada di rumah. Bawak diorang pergi McD/KFC/Pizza Hut/Dominoes/Burger King dan tanya pada mereka apa yang mereka mahu. Add in your order for yourself. Contohnya:
(Di dalam McD lokasi X)

Maksu:"Aqi nak yang mana?"
Aqi:"Big Mac, large meal please!"(lately dia suka mempraktikkan apa yg die belajar kat sekolah)

Maksu:"Ok! Kita beli Ayam goreng spicy jugak lah..mana tau nnt aqi lapar lagi.."
***************************************************
Maksu:*senyum*"Kak, kasi 1 large Big Mac, 1 large ayam goreng spicy, air tukar light coke, tq"
Akak McD: *senyum-penuh-pemahaman*(smile understandingly):"Ok..*repeat orders*"

see?!!! senang gila. Takde pun org nk tgk pelik or mcm tahu2 kita cuti.hehe.Sila cuba ok?! Angkut adik/adik jiran/adik saudara/anak buah atau cucu anda. Tapi pastikan anda tak berpuasa disebabkan oleh uzur bukan suka-suka.Ok?

p/s: DatukJ yang dicreditskan tiada kena mengena dengan saya ok. Google McD drive through and the pic came up. Presentable compared to others. So lepas ni don't expect me to come up with my own "Biarlah Rahsia" song. Aku bukan siti. Datuk J bukan Datuk K. Aku dah ada kekasih yang namanya bermula dari A dan dia bukan seorang Datuk, yet.Mungkin belum sekarang, future, kita tak tahu. Adakah aku akan menjadi Datin?'

ok.i diam sekarang.

To die for

Almost to die for lah. Not completely.But still to die for.

I know that the craze for oxford has died down already. Some fashionistas has stopped wearing this baby*shifty-eyes* altogether. But OH! how do i love thee. My heart practically stopped for a nanosecond when i saw this. I want!I want! i can so imagine my self walking in these baby*shifty-eyes* to work, leisure outings, convocations, travelling, walking down french canal in trench coat, with my scarves gently..yada yada..okay.enough with the imagination. i want lah. F21 used to have oxfords, but theirs more playfully designed.so malas to google, u cari yourself.Retails around MYR 100-200+(someone told me) But these retails at MYR 75.00.Should i?i want it black baybeh!

Booties!!! I HEART 'em too. And yeah, you guessed it right. Not that my heart stopped, my entire blood pressure went crazy!!!How can you not? They are so..are so..are so..effing cool! So Agyness-Deyn-like.I'd already have this pictures of yours truly in this. Skinny jeans tucked inside for that edginess. Flowing dresses and denim vest. ahhhhh~Vincci has similar ones, Yeah i malas to search the picture.google it up please. Im not so sure about the price.But their's not so cool as above.Made from suede(i think).I tried it on but no, no chemistry. Retails at MYR 85.00(DIE!).I want the grey or brown,not sure.i love both.But the price.DIE.

Ahhhh~I'm-not-sure-what's-this!!okay. i am totally clueless as what is this shoe all about. flats? heels?BUT cute & pretty is the best word to describe it. I fall in love with the black&off-white combo! so quirky.so me. What would i pair this with? Opaque tights,calf length full swing skirt and a simple white top. Supre!i would look fab(or fug but i like it so dang you).I'm getting slightly deranged as i typed. This baby retails at MYR 75.00 too?!?hurk.*grabs chest, fears for quickened pace of heart beat*

So there goes my craving-i-have-to-have-if-not-i-could-not-sleep list. If i were to purhase all, the total would be MYR 230.00!!! On the bright side, the cheapest nine west is more expensive than this. If i buy a nine west, i only got 1, ONE pair of shoes. So, my purchase would really be worth it. right?

On a diff note, i got a job. Yup, from the same company. 5-mins-away-if-no-jam office here i come. On November lah tapi. If all goes well. But the downside, diff position. Someone took my designated post. Gila frustrated. I coveted that post. It was created for me. Sedih x? So yup, the new post is not what i fancy much, but i'm afraid of saying no. Ya'll know, i turned down Petronas because i got into Exxon and then was told later that a new policy doesn't allow them to employ students. I couldn't call Petronas and said i want! i want! and they want me to start immediately somemore. Kalau tak, skarang petrol aku free( ye ke nih?). But yeah, i've said yes to Exxon again. Takut menolak tuah..tapi i'm still open for other options to widen my horizon.

For one second that i typed the last para, strangely, my mind wasn't on the 3 coveted shoes. Maybe i gotta talk about something serious. Or maybe, i should just go to sleep. Maybe i will dream about wearing Shoes Coveted #1 to work in the 5-mins-away-if-no-jam office. Nice nya.
i love dressing up to work.=)

Let's all be merry

So tomorrow today is the first day of Ramadhan. Kinda sad & empty a bit..for almost 3/4 years, i've spent it with Bin & Pey..I know! I know! im at home, loadsa food, got mummy daddy taaaaaapi, still the emptiness tu ada terasa a bit.

*during Hollywood Rhapsody*
-bin, me, pey-

most of the times sahur in Murni(hostel-apartment bukan murni ss2) were always rushed.

pey :"Shit shit..lagi lima minit..bangun sa bangun!! kejut mubin"

It was always pey yg akan kejut kitorang.hehe.thank you mak!;p We would rush to the 'dapur' & sumbat apa yg ada depan mata,tak smpai 5 mins habis!Terror gila.Sometimes, we didn't even sleep the whole night,doing just nothing-yg-berfaedah.hehe.Owh!We did yoga once!

bin - "blakang aku sakit lah"
me - "Weh! Jom Yoga!"

Hence, our yoga journey begins.Googled yoga techniques/practice, click on images, choose 1 you like. TAPI be careful ok? Our yoga moments were full of laughter and the best of all was our outfit, totally comfy and berangin(kaftan and nightie).Whenever there's a slightly difficult pose or weird twisted body pose, we would laugh & laugh. It's almost 1 hour jugak lah nk habiskan all the steps, but then we missed quite a few like breathing calmly, it's hard when you're laughing you know?! All in all, i think our tummy are taut-er since we use the abs muscle a lot credits to laughing. Hurm..maybe we should start a laughing yoga class!!! Oh.wait.dah ada.shoot.

okayyy.Another time, we would rush(At that time, i think that Pey was possesed by the spirit of Louise Hamilton(F1 driver,duh!)) to McD drive thru just to have the breakfast set for sahur. From the top, proper je, with tudung kemas(ye ke). From the bottom, seluar tidur. Hoyeh! We're the trendsetters. Lepas tu, ramai gila junior keluar sahur wearing their pyjama bottom.Nih, aku tipu.

Kesimpulannya, in a few hours, i will have my sahur & i miss my girlfriends.

Tiada kena mengena tapi my teeth/gum is killing me. It's swollen and it's giving the "nyut!nyut!" feeling.sorry, i just can't remember what berdenyut is in English. I wanna call Kekasih, tapi it's painful to just say hello. I've slept for a while just now, after Terawih prayers(will story later.hehe) because of the headache caused by this teeth/gum disease. Matilah haku.

"Oh Tuhan! Sesungguhnya, aku belum bersedia untuk mati. Berilah aku kesempatan untuk bertaubat. Amin" 

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan everyone!!
Minta maaf ya kawan-kawan.
Yang tak kawan pun minta maaf jugak,
mana tahu tak sempat nak minta maaf!
=)

Air yang tenang, jangan disangka ada buaya

Today i woke up with the voice of him serenading me songs while strumming his guitar. The choice of his songs? yellow & viva la vida by coldplay & pocketful of sunshine by natasha bedingfield.  Sangat sweet, i practically melted on the bed.ha ha ha. He knows it that i'm so troubled by what happened yesterday, i guess that's his way to calm me down kut. Thank God, he didn't go verbally serang the dearest perempuan ituh, if not the problem akan menjadi lebih besar, dan akan tercetuslah permainan " he says, she says". I've enough of this game already..ponat den!

If one day, you stumbled upon this my dearest perempuan, for sure, you'll be wondering, who did tell me all this stuff?who? sorang? or more than 1 person? for me to know and for you to find out lah..Just that, kalau berkawan, kawan betul2, jgn kutuk2 belakang dia okay(1 bad habit that you've need to kick off), sbb u don't know that one day they will blab about you to the  other person yg you kutuk tu...

Back to the subject matter: I really liked lah this new way untuk kejut aku bangun. Please dear kekasih, i want hingga ujung waktu by so7, i'll be by edwin mc'Cain(kut cam ni lah spellingnya, im not sure) & kiss me by 6 pence non the richer. Kejutkan saya dengan lagu-lagu ini boleh? ;)

*proof of our lunacy*

kalau saya gadis luna, si dia? jejaka luna kah? bunyi cam auw je. hish.

Dearest perempuan

I have deleted previous writings as i find it offensive & since important people have read this than it's fine with me!So i have the pleasure knowing that once words get around to you, all you'll be able to read is this.

i am living up to your words.."Shasha ni bukannya baik sgt pun"..
bukan baik sgt meaning baik lah tapi tak baik sangat.
kesimpulannya baik.
haha.
ok not funny.
inside joke.

Hiba

 

Peneman sejati aku selama 8 hari. Aku sedih bila semalam dia pulang ke pangkuan tuannya semula.Si "Duta" celup aka mon*(bukan nama sebenar). 

cantikkan fakulti aku?COIT nama dia.*bangga*

Tapi gambar ini membuatkan aku lebih sedih. Walaupun aku gembira mereka semua telah bergelar graduan, tetapi terdetik di hati aku semalam, suatu rasa hiba & sebak. Aku tak ambik pun gambar pakai robe tu, takut nanti bila pakai karang tetiba meleleh air mata.Ya! Aku cengeng lebih, minta maaf. Tetapi deep in my heart, i'm proud of you all lah!! Sama-sama study last minute, sama-sama ponteng kelas, sama-sama duduk kat tangga belakang COIT..yang lelaki smoking yang perempuan camwh*re,takpun, sama-sama camwhore. aku nk letak gambar.tapi aku lupa yg laptop aku dulu dah terbakar bersama memori & kenangan & asssigment aku.stupidos.Anyways, Selamat berkonvokasi kawan-kawanku! Aku tau ada yang telah berkerjaya hebat , ada yang sedang mengambil Masters!Syabas & Tahniah.Aku sayang korang.Bila nak belanja aku ni?

oh! satu lagi. Yuran Unit*n dah naik!!!!! pandai  betul. Projek tahun akhir yang tak payah pegi kelas tu, tak payah bazir elektrik(dah la kena bayar bukan free), tak payah bazir aircond(if you're a Uniten-er, you'll know how effing cold COIT is), tak payah pakai equipments hebat-hebat, sekali segedebuk RM 1400 for a fyp subject.

semua subject matter di atas, membuatkan aku hiba ;'(

*substitute o with a(dapatlah nama sebenar.

Pertama kali aku ....

Apa yang selalu diblog oleh kebanyakkan orang apabila menulis entri yang pertama?

1.keterujaan?
2.kegembiraan?
3.kekeliruan?
4....













i ran out of words. s***.ok.cuba sekali lagi!

apakah? tidak mencerminkan bahasa jiwa bangsa betul. sebetulnya, saya aku pernah dahulu menulis di blog yang terletak di Friendster((?)Friendster's blog) tetapi dimatikan(it was put to an end).Mengapakah anda tanya?(Why you may ask?)..kerana saya rasa berblog disitu terlalu terbuka.Ramai kawan("musuh" dan orang yang tidak pernah kita kenal mahupun mempunya talian persahabata atau apa jua talian juga ada ;p) menafsir di
tetapi di sini, saya rasa selamat...kerana ini adalah entri pertama saya!!tiada apa yang boleh ditafsirkan bukan?haha.dapat anda!!(Gotcha!!) apa yang boleh anda katakan ialah mungkin kenapa gadis ini berkomunikasi mengunakan bahasa ibunda yang tunggang langgang(saya harap tidak).

mungkin, jika terdapat entri yang agak 'panas', saya akan menggubah penetapan(settings,hebat x?hehe) kepada pembaca yang diundang(open invited readers only).siapa tahukan?anda tahu? saya pun tidak tahu.

okay.sudah. sampai disini sahaja.terima kasih kerana membazirkan masa anda dengan membaca crap saya.

p/s: crap diitalickan kerana saya tidak pasti tahu akan maksudnya dalam bahasa melayu.oh.sedih!